trying to add a family member to my account

[Tom1969]

Trying to add my wife to my account

[StephenB]

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@Tom1969 wrote:
Trying to add my wife to my account

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You can't do that.

What you can do is create a separate account for her, and then share your devices with her account (using the "grant access" menu).

[Tom1969]

I did grant access and it says pending but she never gets the request.

[StephenB]

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@Tom1969 wrote:
I did grant access and it says pending but she never gets the request.

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I guess you could try doing it again.  And/or contact support.  https://www.arlo.com/en-us/support/contact.aspx